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Living The Life You Are Leaving

I found this for you.

Each day becomes very interesting as soon as you have made the decision that you won’t live there much longer. You are very aware of every interaction. Everything becomes more deliberate and raw. You simultaneously want to squeeze every possible activity in that you possibly can and relax while nothing happens.

One word that has become common in my life lately is “temporary”.  Temporary phone service. Temporary utilities. Temporary address. No contracts, thank you, I’m leaving. It serves as a daily reminder that I’m not long in this city, but every time it makes me want to scream that I’m not temporary. I’m finally acknowledging the fact that I’m permanent and it’s time to step into this world and experience it.

In my decision to travel the world with just a backpack, I have been giving most of my earthly possessions to friends. I’ve spent decades curating my life as a designer, picking specific pieces that define my taste and personality and placing them strategically around where I live. Now my friends come over and root through everything, taking the parts that speak to them most.

They are taking pieces of my life with them. The things I researched and discovered so intently, now given freely. It’s wonderful seeing the disbelieving smiles as they walk away, and I’m happy to have a little less to worry about getting rid of.

Suddenly, friendships have become one of the most interesting parts of my life. Now that I have the days free to get my life in order, my evenings are devoted to friends. Knowing that my days here are limited, I have been living my life fully with everyone while I am with them. Taking every opportunity, enjoying every conversation, and digging just a little deeper than I normally would, while revealing more of myself.

Life is certainly more intense now, and it feels like this is how it should be lived. I hope this is a trend for how I will act in the future, even though the thought of being more exposed to everyone and everything scares me more than I would like to admit.

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  1. Emma says:

    I admire this so much! Very brave.

    I lost most of my belongings too once and it is a very particular sort of feeling. Freeing, though, as they say.

  2. Tom says:

    Well written, Chris. This journey sounds like it will be a great one.

  3. Chris Dame says:

    I certainly hope so. It has been nothing but a rush of freedom so far. I’m not sure how long it will last, but I’m hoping to keep enough going on to distract me when I get homesick for my wall of books. Which are already half taken.

    I’m also hoping to avoid all comparisons to Up In The Air, when possible.

  4. Chris Dame says:

    Thanks, Tom. I certainly hope so. There’s still a lot of planning that needs to be done.

  5. liz says:

    I would be more likely to compare it to taking a hallucinogen for the first time/s – waiting for something big that is about to happen. You are going far, far away, your only net is your mind, and as long as you don’t lose it, you’ll have a blast.

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